Hold on to the moments

I’ve always been a hopeless romantic. In constant search for moments filled with feelings of fairy tale. I have always been in love with love. The idea of soulmates. I’ve imagined meeting my own countless times. We are somewhere in the world, on the same day, at the same time. We are strangers but when we lock eyes, there is something familiar. We bond, over laughter and awkward moments. There is a shyness that exists between us. It’s innocent and pure. It feels like a childhood crush. Like butterflies on the playground at recess. Everything is easy when we are together. All of our problems are suddenly manageable. We argue, but never go to bed angry on purpose. We make up as soon as possible. We restore hope in each other. There is a spark that only we can ignite. It rarely dims and lasts forever. We’re magic. I’ve always wanted this. Dreamt of the fantasy since childhood. There were a few times in life when I thought I had it. Or it felt like I had it. Or I did have it, but it wasn’t meant to last forever. Maybe it was only meant to be a memory. A moment that I can hold on to for as long as I choose. Maybe that’s all we ever really get are moments. Most are short lived but sometimes you find a forever. I haven’t found mine yet. But I have hope they are out there, and are looking for me too. Maybe we’ve already met. Maybe we are in each other’s lives right now. Or maybe, we have already found and lost one another. I’m not sure. But I do know we are not allowed to keep people, we can only experience them. We may get that chance to meet and hold our soulmates. But at some point, for one reason or another, we’ll have to let go of the physical. But I still want that feeling of forever. So instead of trying to hold on to anyone else, I’m going to hold on to all the moments that felt fairy tale. Every eye connection that left me frozen and took my breath away. Every late night conversation that lead well into the morning. The FaceTime calls from 3000 miles away. The beach days. The sunburns. The pride parade. Walking through the hood on a summer night for Chinese food & fronto. Taking random paths through nature and getting lost under the trees. Laying naked and listening to the rain, discussing aliens. The awkward moments. The cuddles. The blunts. The day drinking. The laughter. All of the laughter. Every single smile. I’ll hold on to all of it. As tight as I can. I’ll never forget how you made me feel. The happy. The joy. The ease. I’ll remember you forever. I will love all of you forever.

3 thoughts on “Hold on to the moments

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